Stepping back on track

It has been quite some time since my last blog post, and in many ways I have found myself avoiding it. Not that I do not enjoy my blog anymore; I have been isolating myself in a number of ways, not only my blog. I find this is a common thing when health flares up in ways that leave you scrambling to stitch yourself back together as your seams let out around you. Not to say that my troubles are any worse than anyone else, I was simply letting them get the better of me. I am certain we have all been there in one way or another…

Sometimes it is hard to continue commitments to bettering health when it seems like all that you do is fruitless. Earlier this summer, I ran a summer camp with my local Parish and it was an amazing experience. I don’t know whether to say fortunately or unfortunately, it would depend on the vantage point I am taking I suppose. Either way, I worked two 50h weeks for the first time in, well, ever. If I am truly and brutally honest, I have never been able to work that many hours in that short a period of time. I have managed at most upwards of 35 in previous years, but altogether it was never for a long period of time. In those times where I was given full time hours to work, I have had to call in sick frequently. It is a hard reality, but one that I am getting much closer to accepting and therefore overcoming.

The experience was exceptional. It was amazing to be able to do so much for the children in my community in those weeks, but it came at a cost. In the evenings I was mostly incoherent, and I relied on my family entirely to help make sure I was fed. After finishing up the camp half way through July, I am still recovering. Now, it doesn’t help that I accidentally ingested wheat earlier this month; that was a horrible experience. Cross contamination is one thing, actually consuming wheat in a sauce is far worse, with much longer lasting symptoms… I don’t dare to imagine what might occur should I ingest a single whole cheerio. 😛

It took until this weekend to really get out of the emotional side of the significant decrease in my overall well being. I know that bouts of depression are known to make the rest of my symptoms flare, but it is incredibly difficult to overcome that sensation. I am thankful that I can rely on God in those times, as He is able to heal my soul and help me over come myself. I can’t say that I have fully shaken it, but I am at least coping better with this turn of my health. It has been tricky to get myself to focus on it but my current focus is: ups and downs happen, yet even in the downs I am still on the mend and not doing anything to add more damage to my system.

If I keep my eyes to the goal of good health, with hope in my heart, I will one day get there. I am going to see about addressing the fact that my GI track has not really seen much improvement since going strictly gluten free 4 years ago-and by strictly, I mean paranoia. Theoretically, if I can address that system and actually get it healed properly the rest will fall into place, or at least will have an easier time doing so.

All things in their own time…